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Anna Van Der Post said:
I heard you (Margaret Morrisey) on Radio 4 Woman’s hours and loved everything you said. I entirely agree that subtley pressurising a child before they are ready is potentially harmful. I also feel that forcing a child to do things which they struggle with is not good for their self-esteem. I am both the mother of a teenager with Aspergers and also a research psychologist and I had found myself feeling very isolated and feeling really quite desperate, apparently failing at parenting. I decided to find out if my feelings were unique. I posted a number of letters and received over 200 replies from equally miserable parents and so decided to select the most representative cases and write a book.. All the books I read were rather upbeat and all the tips failed to work, so I came away feeling even more isolated an useless. The literature on Aspergers seems to air-brush the condition and they focus on the milder cases, it seemed to me the reality was heavily censored. What came acoss is that forcing children to fit into a system that is not right for their personality and wiring leads to behavioural problems. Sadly many of the problems we have had with our children relate to the education system failing to be responsive to their needs (I do not blame the teachers) So I decided to write the book which I needed to read and to do this I had to write a totally honest account of what life is like with a child of difference and how I really felt, daring to say the unsayable. We would dearly love you to read our book and hopefully link to our site and perhaps write a few words in support of us. With kind wishes, Anna Van Der Post
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# 3 September 2009 at 3:08 pm

Laura said:
Interesting debate. Surely the best situation we can offer our children is to to give them the opportunity to learn to read in a way and at a time that is right for them as individuals and to support those who do not find reading an easy skill to grasp.
All children will gain from from time spent on a one to one basis with someone listening to them read but they will also gain from time spent listening to stories being read to them. Great if parents can spend this time with their chidlren but it should also be an integral part of learning in a classroom; giving children and their teacher a chance to develop a rewarding relationship and to enjoy reading.
# 3 September 2009 at 5:34 pm

Jonathan said:
In Finland children start school at 7. It is well known as the best education in Europe for kids. From a BBC article yesterday ..
YOUNG PEOPLE’S WELL-BEING
Worst drunkenness: UK
Highest rate of bullying: Turkey
Most affluent: Norway
Best education: Finland
Best local environment: Australia
Least exercise: Switzerland
Best housing: Norway
Least risk: Sweden
Highest suicide rate: New Zealand
Enjoy school most: Turkey
Enjoy school least: Czech Republic
Most separated parents: United States
Fewest separated parents: Italy
I worked in Finland briefly and went to work colleagues houses for dinner sometimes one family I knew had a child aged 7 and 6. Both could speak perfect English as well as Finish.
So I am most definitely not sure we are getting it right
Really enjoyed listening to Margaret on this I think she made great points and I have to say as a parent of 2 young children I agree with all that she said
# 3 September 2009 at 5:37 pm

sue said:
I was dismayed to hear this interview.Being a teacher with a vast experience of teching from 4 to 19 year olds over a period of some 37 years i can only say that my experience is different.
Children in ‘poor’ homes do not have the joy of being ‘read to’ pre-school and often spend hours in front of a computer or TV screen.
These are the pupils who need to be taught to read when they get to ‘real school’ as their speaking and listening skills are usually very poor.
Children from ‘good’ homes where books are around and reading is the norm will begin to read before they come to ‘real ‘ school.
A teacher needs the support of the family to read to and with the child as classes of 30+ only allow the class teacher an average of 8 minutes 1:1 with each pupil per week.
However, we cannot allow children to read when they are ready as reading is the key to success in life.
# 6 September 2009 at 2:46 pm

Mona McNee said:
The idea of “No one way” ahs been around a long time. Whtever grown-ups do, some children will learn. But if ALL children get good systematic phonics, they will all learn (except deaf, blind, brai-damaged…) Radio 4 includec me in their 2 “Odds Against” abou 20 years ago but now the Rose Report puts odds for, saying phonics first.. Phil Beadle had contact with six adults, and the stress was sparking In my lessons both I and the pupil enjoy themselves. But I ahve for 30 eyars been up against a brick wall in officialdom, LEAs etc. Can you tell parents about me? My Step by Step is only £5 (inc p&p) by intent, to keep literacy within everyone’s reach. Will you put parents in touch with me? Can you convince any teachers that I can help??
# 7 September 2009 at 7:10 am

Kieth said:
How long is parenthood? When does it end? Given a child starts schooling at the age of 5 and finishes at 18, a period of 15 years does that mean parenting for 30 years suggests an age difference between the youngest and oldest child is 35 years?!!!
# 12 September 2009 at 7:19 am

Angry parent said:
Sue’s comments make me feel angry. She says “Children from ‘good’ homes where books are around and reading is the norm will begin to read before they come to ‘real‘ school.” Well I’m afraid that’s not always true.
We are a stable, middle class family with 2 parents educated to degree level. Both my parents were educators – we believe in education, read lots and my children had books shared with them from the minute they were born – which they loved. Interestingly, my son, who is now 6, simply did not take to reading at the stage that the education system deemed he should have done. In fact, 6 months after starting school, he was completely put off books by the pressure to read that was put on him at school.
My firm belief is that if the school had just allowed him to keep enjoying books via an adult reading to him, without the pressure to do it himself, at a point when he was ready he would have begun to read and felt good about the whole process.
Let’s not forget that many children now start school at just 4 years old – and the phonics work and pressure to read start within a very short time. There is always this assumption that children start school at 5 simply because this is the legal starting age. In fact, those born in August – like my son – do not reach the age of 5 until after their first complete year at school. He was not ready, and he now feels he’s a failure because he couldn’t do it. Given the bright, enthusiastic little book-lover I sent into school, this to me is a crime – an education system that actually puts some children OFF reading, no matter how ‘good’ the home they came from.
# 2 October 2009 at 11:20 am

lily harris said:
I didn’t hear the broadcast but did catch some comments on a phone-in programme. As an “old wrinkly” -mother of 3, Grandmother of 7 -I have come to the conclusion that there are 2 factors which impact on the developement of children. One is the home, and the other the school. Sadly both seem to be in serious decline. Many parents, esp. Mothers are too busy “being fulfilled” to give their offspring the pre-school attention the children deserve, and the other is the quality of teaching. The lack of discipline in schools and the calibre of the teachers is reflected in the dumbed-down results. A good shake-up all round in urgently needed.
# 8 October 2009 at 5:29 am

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